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Facebook and Twitter are NOT Evil

Note: Earlier today I read a comment posted on a blog where they were discussing the issue of how married couples should use Facebook, if at all.  One commenter stated (paraphrasing) that basically the concept of social networking was to access soft porn.  Singles could use it all they want but married people really have no business being out there.  He said that if they were they should have a joint account. So single people can use them for soft porn and attracting those of like mind.  He basically blamed Facebook for causing people to cheat on their spouses.  I was amazed and frankly appalled that anyone in this day and age could be so short-sighted about technology.  The rest of this post is my response to such ignorance. 

Social networks cannot be blamed for the problems that couples have. If a person wants to cheat they will cheat. Cheating has been taking place long before the Internet was made available to the general public.  If people are looking for porn they will find it under a rock if it is there. The question is the motivation. I agree that if a couple is having marriage trouble they may need to be restrictive about their exposure to others without the other party knowing what's up. Why would a healthy couple want to do that anyway????? Again the issue is the motivation, NOT the social network. That is like making the liquor producers responsible for a consumer driving drunk and killing someone. No one makes a person drink alcohol until they are drunk.

My husband and I had profiles on Facebook before we married. To us it made no sense to combine them. Our pages are linked together stating that we are married to each other. We share everything in our marriage. I mean EVERYTHING. We have each other's passwords for things that we had separate before we married. We use separate aliases for email addresses. They all go into the same email account.

We use Facebook and Twitter mainly to post notices about sermons that we post on our websites. Separate accounts allow us to reach more people. We comment at times on status updates or links that our friends post. We use Facebook Places when we attend church services. People at times, even across the waters, will send us prayer requests asking us to go forward during an altar call to have the minister pray about situations. We post a verse of the day on Facebook. We rarely get friend requests from questionable people. We immediately block them after showing the other party. If you know how to set your security settings on there you can prevent a lot of the madness out there.

One of our good friends (married, wife not on Facebook) was able to connect with a Christian album label using Facebook. This happened almost by accident. To have a fan page you have to have a personal profile. We will probably post things on our Facebook pages when one of his songs becomes a hit.  She has no interest in joining Facebook.  She trusts her husband after having a history of 39+ years of marriage.

At the writing on this blog post Facebook is being used by almost 600,000,000 people sometime during the week. Facebook and I believe Twitter helped facilitate the revolts in the Middle East, especially in Egypt, where people are fighting and dying to have the freedoms we are taking for granted in the US. Social networks can be used as a tool that Christians can use for the gospel. If you want to reach the young people or those 50 and older Facebook is a good place to start. Those are the largest groups on Facebook. 50 and older is the fastest growing group.

Bottom line: Each couple needs to decide on how to use social networks. It is prudent not to use them if you do not trust each other. However to make a blanket statement that married people should not use social networks I find a bit extreme.

Sidebar: My lovely husband is a man of real class and has no guile. He is not perfect (no one is). He gets completely disgusted and sad thinking about how bad people can treat others in general. He does NOT do the guy's night out. He just does not understand couples doing things separately by choice. The only place I go alone is either to the hairdresser or manicurist because he cannot stand the smells of the chemicals used:) I obviously have no qualms about him having a separate Facebook account.


1 comment :

Sherry said...

Facebook is a way to get back in touch with folks that you have missed, and keep touch with people and things that are of interest to you, nothing more!

I have to say that I believe that married folks can have separate emails, Facebook accounts, etc. If I had a husband I would not be interested in having his email password or voicemail password. I expect you to have personal conversations with friends and relatives that I should not be privy to. Certainly I will.